Disappointed-this
is how I felt after my lesson yesterday evening. Beau and I were out of sync, I
was off balance, we we’re both tired and...I fell off! We were pretty much a
train wreck. I’m feeling a little better about it today but every time I go
back and watch the videos, I cringe.
We are
starting to do course work (6 to 8 jumps in a row); which we need to perfect
because this is what we will be doing at competitions. The beginning of my
lesson was great. Our flat work was good, jumping single fences and single
lines (2 jumps) were great but as soon as we threw in two more lines,
everything seemed to fall apart. I think most of it was from being so tired and
not having the stamina to do multiple courses in a row but I don’t need to have
excuses. My show is in less than two months and if I want to be any competition
to my opponents, I need to push myself now!
When I think
about it, I remember having off days with Susie and feeling so defeated
and like we were never going to get it (this was in many different aspects with
her-from when we were in walk/trot to when we were jumping 3 foot) but I
believe that just comes with the territory. I think it is so difficult for me
to have a bad day because I expect perfection, not out of Beau but from myself
and this is in all aspects of my life. Whenever I do something I expect the
results to be excellent and if they aren’t, I get pretty down on myself. I
guess I may be what they call a “perfectionist”.
I need to
remember that for every bad day, we have three or more great days! I need to
keep in mind that we were trying something new and I should prepare myself for
the fact that it may not be perfect every time. I know that the next time I go
out to the barn to ride; I will be positive and ready to take on the challenge
of jumping courses. Even though I feel crushed right now, I will push through
and try even harder than I did on Wednesday. For me, that is the only way that
I will be able to conquer the feeling of defeat.
I must say
though, that I am lucky to have such an amazing trainer willing to work with me
and teach me what I need to know before I move to Michigan and possibly start
my own career in training/barn ownership/competing. She is the most patient
teacher I’ve known and she really puts a lot of time into me and Beau and our
growth as a team of two. I am so thankful for her and what she is allowing me
to do and I find great motivation in that to work hard, not only for me but for
Mandi and Beau.
Even though I am not pleased with the way I rode yesterday, I still uploaded the video to YouTube.
I got a few replies that the video wasn't playing. I took out the music and re-uploaded it and it should now work for you. Please let me know if it isn't working.
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